do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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