Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
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I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
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What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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