a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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