It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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