I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How's work?
Spinning.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You may now shotgun with the bride
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
