she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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