You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
