she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize