I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
