i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Found the puke drawer
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
