How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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