i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
