you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
