would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
