Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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