i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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