you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
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This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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