What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
