so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
