Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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