Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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