Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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