I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
