Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
zippers are such a cool invention
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
