I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
