took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
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you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
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Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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