You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
