I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize