She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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