Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I was not drunk enough for that final.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
