Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
