If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize