Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
