how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
