Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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