So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
