I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
