Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
