I think im going to throw up on grandma
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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