the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
