Don't you send me to vm
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
