I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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