So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
