I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
