How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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