It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
honey bunches of taint.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
