Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
