Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
