It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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