Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize