Buhtt sex?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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