Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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