I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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