ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
