Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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