u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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