shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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