Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
