the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just high enough for therapy.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
