Porn is love you can see.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
