rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
its not stalking. its research.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
