i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
