she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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