Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
